A Mother Sent Her Daughter and Two Children to an Old House Without Utilities: “No Matter What You Do, You’ll Still Be the Villain!”
“My daughter posted on social media: ‘Living without a mother is hard, but it’s even harder when you have one who behaves like a real monster!’” says 56-year-old Svetlana Ivanovna bitterly, her voice trembling with hurt.
“I’m the monster. I didn’t let my own daughter and grandchildren into my home. But I’ve gotten used to being the villain. No matter what I do, how hard I try — it’s never enough!” she continues. “A year ago, my daughter slammed the door and cut off all contact. I only knew she was alive from her posts. Then, in September, she suddenly showed up on my doorstep: ‘Mom, help me!’”
Svetlana Ivanovna’s 28-year-old daughter, Arina, didn’t come alone — she had her two sons with her: a four-year-old and a seven-month-old.
“Different fathers!” sighs Svetlana Ivanovna, weariness in her voice. “It’s like déjà vu. Three and a half years ago, Arina already came to me with one child. She said, ‘I’m getting divorced, can I live with you?’ Back then I let her in, opened the doors of my apartment in Nizhny Novgorod.”
Svetlana Ivanovna’s first son-in-law, Arina’s ex-husband, disgusted her from the start. Rude and uneducated, he scraped by with odd jobs at a friend’s auto shop. Svetlana Ivanovna had warned her daughter that he wasn’t a good match, begged her not to rush into marriage — especially not into having a baby. But Arina, almost out of spite, did the exact opposite: she got married and got pregnant soon after.
“Their life became a nightmare,” Svetlana Ivanovna recalls, her eyes darkening. “He drank, cheated, caused scenes. At first, Arina endured it, pretended everything was fine, but I could see how hard it was for her. They were always short on money, so I bought things for my grandson. But instead of gratitude, she and her husband were angry that I dared to criticize them. Eventually, the marriage fell apart, and six months after the birth, Arina came to me with the baby.”
Living with her daughter became a real trial for Svetlana Ivanovna. Arina seemed to expect her mother not only to take them in, but also to handle all the cleaning, cooking, and childcare so she could “live her own life” — see friends, go to work, or just lounge on the couch. She even hinted that Grandma should be happy to babysit while the young mom relaxed in the bath or played on her phone. But Svetlana Ivanovna quickly put her foot down.
“I told her — no relaxing while I’m dealing with your child!” she recalls firmly. “She started talking about her ‘personal life’ and how she needed to ‘get everything together.’ But I cut her off: your personal life now is your son! Of course, Arina got upset. She yelled that her friends’ moms, Olga and Maria, watched their grandkids while they went out. I didn’t care! If you wanted to party, you shouldn’t have had a baby. If you gave birth — stay home and raise him!”
Svetlana Ivanovna set strict rules: her daughter had to do all the housework (“Did she think I’d clean up after her and her kid?”), pay for housing and food (“Welcome to adult life!”), and constantly heard: “I warned you! You didn’t listen — now deal with it yourself.”
“She has to learn to take responsibility for her choices!” she explains.
But all the effort was in vain. Despite the restrictions, Arina managed to meet a man online, chat with him, go on dates — and then one day, she left, slamming the door and taking the child. Svetlana Ivanovna had no idea where her daughter lived for the next year and a half, or who the man was.
“Probably just another suitor,” she shrugs. “After all, the second child had to come from somewhere…”
As expected, Arina’s second marriage fell apart too. And now, here she was again on the doorstep, this time with two kids. Clearly, the situation was so desperate that she returned, despite past conflicts.
“But this time I said: no, dear, I’m sorry!” Svetlana Ivanovna’s voice trembles with restrained anger. “I don’t want to help you anymore. I remember how you made me out to be a monster to the whole family. All I can do is give you the keys to the dacha. If you’ve got nowhere else to go — live there.”
Svetlana Ivanovna’s dacha is in the middle of nowhere, 150 kilometers from Nizhny Novgorod. To get there, you have to take a train, then a bus, and then walk another four kilometers. The nearest shop is at the bus stop, but the prices are outrageous. There’s a supermarket in a nearby village 20 kilometers away, but the bus runs rarely. Grocery trips take half a day. As for medical care — an ambulance might make it if you’re lucky. In winter, the roads are buried in snow and barely cleared.
The house itself has no modern conveniences. Water is from a well, the toilet is outside. There is electricity and an old stove with a small stash of firewood. But how will a young woman used to city life manage there with two small children? This doesn’t seem to concern Svetlana Ivanovna.
Still, Arina took the keys and thanked her. It seems she’s living there now, in the wilderness. Svetlana Ivanovna believes her daughter is “doing just fine,” since she keeps posting online that her mother is a monster. But deep down, she wonders: has she really become a monster to her daughter — or is this just another attempt by Arina to blame others for her own mistakes?
