— What do you mean, “buy food for your relatives”? — the wife asked her husband coldly, glancing at the empty fridge.
— Your things are by the door, the keys are on the table, and I don’t want to see your face here! — Evelina’s voice trembled with anger as she threw yet another bag of the uninvited guests’ belongings into the hallway.
— Eva, have you completely lost your mind? These are my relatives! — Ignat tried to block her path, but his wife pushed him aside with her shoulder.
— Exactly! YOUR relatives! And who am I here? Free help?
— Evelina, calm down! What will the neighbors think?
— I don’t care about the neighbors! You should have thought about that earlier, when you allowed them to make a mess here!
Ignat watched in confusion as his wife methodically packed his relatives’ things into bags. Voices of indignation from Tamara and Petr could be heard behind the door.
— Eva, maybe we should sit down and talk calmly?
— Talk? About what? About how I was humiliated for three weeks under your attentive supervision?
Three weeks before this scandal, the Kozhemyakin apartment had enjoyed the usual evening calm. Evelina was preparing dinner, chopping vegetables for a salad, thinking about weekend plans. Ignat entered the kitchen with a guilty expression — she immediately knew something unpleasant had happened.
— Evka, here’s the thing… Aunt Tamara called. Their renovation got delayed, and they have nowhere to live. I told them they could stay with us for a week or two.
Evelina froze with the knife in her hand, slowly turning to her husband:
— What did you say? Decided without me?
— Come on, it’s family! Aunt Tamara, Uncle Petr, and Marinka. They’re quiet, you won’t even notice them.
— Ignat, let me remind you — we have a two-room apartment! Where do you plan to fit three adults?
— Well, Marinka can sleep on the fold-out bed in the living room, and Aunt and Uncle… — he hesitated, avoiding his wife’s gaze — maybe we can give them our bedroom? We’re young, we’ll sleep on the sofa.
Evelina put down the knife and slowly wiped her hands with a towel:
— You’re seriously suggesting I sleep on the sofa in my own apartment? Maybe I should try the kitchen next?
— Eva, why are you getting so defensive? Maximum two weeks! People are in trouble — are we supposed to refuse?
— Couldn’t you have asked me first?
— What’s there to ask? Of course, you would have agreed! You’re kind.
— So the decision is made. Wonderful.
— Excellent! They’ll come tomorrow.
The next day, as soon as Evelina returned from work, the doorbell rang. She opened it and saw the trio with enormous suitcases and bags, as if they were coming for a month rather than two weeks.
— Eva! — Tamara Kozhemyakina beamed, a heavyset woman of about fifty with brightly painted lips and gold teeth that sparkled with every word. — Oh, you’ve gotten so thin! Isn’t Ignatik feeding you properly?
— Hello, Aunt Tamara, — Evelina tried to sound cordial. — Welcome.
— Tell me, where’s the toilet? — Petr asked abruptly, a man with a red face and a strong smell of alcohol despite the early hour.
— Dad, don’t be stupid! — snorted Marinka, a girl of about twenty-five in bright leopard leggings and bold makeup. — The door’s obviously in the hallway. And where’s our room, Aunt Eva? We’ll take the master bedroom, right?
— Actually, we were thinking… — Evelina began, but Tamara had already walked deeper into the apartment, inspecting the place.
— Ignatik, son! — she shouted across the apartment. — Come out and greet your relatives!
Ignat ran out of the living room, smiling:
— Aunt Toma! Uncle Petya! Marinka! How was the trip?
— Fine, just terribly tired, — Marinka replied. — Where can we lie down?
— Oh, how lovely! — Tamara was already examining the bedroom. — The wallpaper’s a bit gloomy, but it’ll do for two weeks. Petruša, bring in the suitcases!
— Aunt Tamara, maybe we should first discuss who will sleep where? — Evelina timidly suggested.
— What’s there to discuss? We’re adults; we need a proper bed. I have sciatica; I won’t sleep on the sofa. Right, Ignatik?
— Of course, Aunt Toma! Eva, we’ll sleep in the living room. Right, darling?
Evelina silently nodded, realizing that protesting was useless.
The first week turned into an absolute nightmare. Tamara became the undisputed mistress of the house, rummaging through all the kitchen cabinets, rearranging the dishes as she saw fit, and completely consuming the strategic reserves of canned goods and grains.
— Eva, darling, why do you have so few groceries? — she complained at seven in the morning, rattling pots and bowls. — Just buckwheat and rice! Where’s the pearl barley? Where’s the peas? Where’s proper stew?
— Aunt Tamara, we buy what we eat… And maybe keep it down a bit? It’s Saturday…
— What’s the problem? Normal people wake up early, not lie in until lunch! Petruša, get up, it’s time for breakfast!
Petr appeared from the bedroom wearing only his underwear, his hairy belly exposed, scratching himself and yawning:
— Why are you shouting so early? My head’s splitting; let me sleep.
— Uncle Petr, maybe you could put some clothes on? — Evelina asked, averting her eyes from the unappetizing sight.
— Why’s that? I walk around my house however I want! It’s hot!
— But this isn’t your house!
— Eva, what a tone! — Ignat immediately intervened. — Sorry, Uncle Petr, she just didn’t get enough sleep on the sofa.
— Eh, she’ll get used to it, — Petr waved generously. — So, what’s there to eat?
By the end of the first week, Evelina realized she was no longer living in her own apartment but in some sort of dormitory. Marinka had occupied the bathroom, hanging her laundry everywhere. Petr smoked on the balcony despite protests, and Tamara had rearranged the living room furniture to her liking.
— Aunt Tamara, could you maybe not rearrange everything? — Evelina asked cautiously.
— Oh, don’t be silly, dear! It was inconvenient the old way! Now the TV is easier to see, and I put the sofa where it should be.
— But it was comfortable for me before…
— You’ll get used to it! Young people adjust quickly. Us older ones, it’s harder to adapt.
On the eighth day, Evelina came home from work to find all her cosmetics had disappeared from the bathroom.
— Marinka, have you seen my cosmetics?
— Oh, that! — the girl waved carelessly. — I tried your mascara, it’s great! And the cream’s good too, shame it’s almost gone.
— Almost gone? It was nearly full!
— Well, I let my friends try it. Don’t be stingy, Aunt Eva, beauty requires sacrifices!
— That was expensive makeup!
— Well, then it’s good I appreciated it, — Marinka laughed. — Buy more if it’s so good.
On the tenth day, Marinka brought her friend Svetlana — a dyed blonde in a mini-skirt with layers of makeup. They settled in the living room, laughing, listening to music, and chatting until three in the morning.
— Marinka, girls, please, keep it down, — Evelina asked, stepping into the room in her robe. — I have work early tomorrow.
— Aunt Eva, don’t be such a bore! — Svetlana giggled, eyeing the apartment owner with a critical glance. — We’re young; we need to have fun! Life is short!
— She’s just jealous that we’re young and pretty, and she’s… — Marinka whispered loudly, pointing to her temple.
— I’m only thirty-two!
— See? I’m saying — already done for! — Marinka laughed. — At thirty, a woman’s done. Svetka, let’s go to Borya, the neighbor. He lives downstairs; it’s more fun, and the aunt doesn’t nag.
— Is he cute? — Svetlana asked.
— Normal, divorced. And most importantly — no annoying relatives!
They left, slamming the door, and returned at three in the morning, waking the entire building with drunken singing and the clatter of heels.
— Ignat, this can’t go on any longer! — Evelina caught her husband in the hallway the next morning as he was getting ready for work. — They’ve turned our apartment into a thoroughfare!
— Just bear with it a little longer. What can I say? “Get out”? That’d be rude to relatives!
— And what’s happening here — is that polite? Yesterday your aunt ate the cake I bought for a colleague’s birthday! I had to run around at eight in the evening looking for a bakery!
— So what? You bought a new one. What’s the problem?
— The problem is that you’re constantly defending them! And I’m nobody here! A stranger in my own house!
— Eva, why are you getting worked up? They’re family! Yesterday, Mom called asking how Aunt Tamara had settled in. What am I supposed to tell her — that we kicked her out?
At that moment, a deafening crash and a string of curses came from the kitchen. They rushed in and saw Petr, who had dropped a large pot of borscht. The red liquid was spreading across the floor, and shards of a plate were scattered everywhere.
— Oops, — he hiccuped, holding onto the doorframe. — Eva, clean this up quickly. I’m running late for work.
— Clean up your own mess!
— How dare you talk to your elders like that? — Tamara appeared in a greasy robe, outraged. — Ignat, your wife has no sense of boundaries!
— Eva, apologize to your uncle, — Ignat said quietly but firmly.
— What?! Apologize for what?
— For rudeness. Don’t make this situation worse.
Evelina silently grabbed a mop and began cleaning up someone else’s mess, seething with indignation.
Two days later, Klavdiya, Ignat’s mother, arrived. Evelina genuinely hoped for her mother-in-law’s support — the woman had always been reasonable and fair. However, no sooner had she stepped through the door than she immediately sided with the relatives.
— Evelina, what do you think you’re doing? — she began. — Tamara called me in tears! She said you’re trying to kick them out!
— Klavdiya Petrovna, they’ve already been here for two and a half weeks, — Evelina tried to explain, helping her mother-in-law take off her coat. — You see, it was supposed to be just a few days…
— And so what? They’re family! — she interrupted, critically surveying the hallway. — When you married Ignat, you knew he had a big family! And now you turn your nose up at them?
— I’m not kicking anyone out! — Evelina protested, leading her mother-in-law to the kitchen. — I just want to live in my own apartment peacefully, to be able to relax properly after work…
— Properly is when family comes first! — Klavdiya sharply cut her off. — Not some personal whims! Ignat, son, come here!
Ignat appeared from the room, clearly anticipating an unpleasant conversation.
— Listen carefully, — his mother continued, fixing him with a stern look. — Maybe you should consider a different wife? A more compliant, family-oriented one?
— Mom, why are you saying this… — Ignat began, but she interrupted him.
— What’s wrong with that? Look at how wonderfully Marinka cooks! She runs the house and has such a gentle, golden character!
At that moment, Marinka herself appeared from the bedroom, wearing Evelina’s silk robe — an expensive gift from her husband for her last birthday.
— Oh, Baba Klava! — the girl exclaimed joyfully, kissing the older woman on both cheeks. — I’m so glad to see you! I’ll make some fresh tea right away. Aunt Eva, do you happen to have any cookies left? Oh, right, I ate the last ones yesterday while watching a series.
Evelina watched silently, realizing she couldn’t expect support from anyone.
— See? — Klavdiya said triumphantly. — Now that’s what I call a real woman! Hospitable, caring!
— Come on, Baba Klava! — Marinka laughed, fussing with the kettle. — I’m not the hostess here; I’m just trying to help Aunt Eva. Though, of course, if this were my house, I’d change a lot. For example, these curtains — too gloomy. And the wall color…
— This is my house, — Evelina said quietly but clearly.
— For now, — Klavdiya remarked meaningfully.
On the twentieth day of the “guests’” stay, Evelina returned from work earlier than usual — she had been released due to a plumbing accident. Climbing the stairs, she could already hear loud music and laughter coming from their apartment on the second floor.
Opening the door, she froze in shock. The living room was in complete chaos: empty wine and beer bottles scattered everywhere, and a huge dark stain on her beloved Persian rug, brought from her wedding trip to Iran. The coffee table was covered with cigarette butts and food remnants.
Entering the bedroom, Evelina found an unfamiliar young man sprawled on her bed in dirty boots, leafing through her personal diary.
— Excuse me, who are you? — she asked, stunned.
— I’m Vadik, Marinka’s friend, — he muttered without looking up from the diary. — Why so tense?
— I’m the owner of this apartment! And I demand that you leave my home immediately!
— Chill out, lady! — Vadik snorted, finally looking at her. — Marinka said I could hang out here. She’s the boss, right?
— NO! I am the boss! And you’re leaving right now!
— GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! — Evelina screamed at the top of her lungs.
Tamara immediately rushed in, accompanied by Petr and Marinka.
— What’s with the hysteria? — the aunt demanded indignantly. — Evelina, have you completely lost your mind? This is a guest of our dear Marinka!
— I don’t care at all! I want everyone out of my apartment!
— Aunt Eva, you’re overreacting, — Marinka intervened in a patronizing tone. — Vadik just came to meet the parents. We’ve been seeing each other for six months.
— In my bedroom? On my bed?
— Ignat! — Tamara shouted. — Come here immediately! Your crazy wife is causing a scene again!
Ignat leisurely appeared from the kitchen, chewing a sandwich with red caviar — the very caviar Evelina had been saving for a romantic dinner with her husband.
— Eva, what’s the matter? — he asked lazily.
— What’s the matter?! WHAT’S THE MATTER?! — her voice broke into a scream. — There’s a drunk stranger in our bedroom, the apartment is a mess, and my husband asks me what’s going on!
— Vadik’s a good guy, — Marinka defended her friend. — He was just nervous about meeting everyone, had a little drink for courage, and now he’s resting.
— IN MY BED! With dirty boots! Reading MY personal diary!
— Big deal! — the girl snorted dismissively. — Sheets can be washed. And the diary… who keeps diaries these days? That’s so childish!
Evelina felt something inside her snap, something that had kept her restrained for the past three weeks.
— ENOUGH! That’s it! The performance is over! — she threw open all the windows in the apartment. — FRESH AIR! EVERYONE OUT! Right now!
She stormed into the guest room, grabbing the uninvited guests’ belongings and throwing them into a large suitcase.
— What are you doing, you crazy woman? — Petr shouted, trying to grab his shirt from her.
— Doing what should have been done three weeks ago! OUT! Every last one of you!
— Evelina! — Klavdiya shouted, appearing in the doorway. — Stop this immediately!
— Klavdiya Petrovna, with all due respect, but you can LEAVE too, — Evelina replied without stopping, stuffing Marinka’s cosmetics into the bag.
— Ignat! — Tamara screamed. — Calm down your psycho wife!
— Eva, stop! They’re my relatives! — her husband tried to intervene.
— Excellent! — Evelina turned to him, holding Tamara’s suitcase. — Take your precious relatives and follow them out!
— Are you suggesting I leave my own home?
— I’m giving you a choice! — Evelina set another bag in the hallway. — Either you’re a MAN and the master of this house, or a submissive WIMP letting your family become a thoroughfare! You have exactly seven days to think about it!
— Aunt Eva, you can’t kick us out! — Marinka protested. — Our tickets aren’t until next week!
— CHANGE THEM! — Evelina snapped, placing the last suitcase outside the door. — Take the bus or walk. I don’t care!
She slammed the door firmly and turned the key twice.
— Evelina! Open this immediately! — Ignat banged on the door. — You have no right!
— I do! This is MY apartment; I bought it before the wedding! — she shouted through the door. — Seven days, Ignat! One week to figure out your priorities!
— Crazy! — Tamara screamed from behind the door. — We’re not finished with you yet!
— Oh yes, we are! And I never want to see any of you here again! — Evelina replied and turned the music up loudly.
The next three days were the quietest she had experienced in the past month. Evelina slowly tidied the apartment, enjoying the silence, eating what she wanted, watching her favorite films, and no longer hearing constant commentary about her “lack of femininity” or “selfishness.”
On the fourth day, her neighbor Boris called.
— Evelina, is everything okay over there? — he asked worriedly. — The Kozhemyakins have been arguing outside my door for two hours. Klavdiya Petrovna is telling the whole building what an ungrateful daughter-in-law you are.
— Let her say it anywhere, Boris, — Evelina replied calmly, sipping tea with her favorite lemon cookie. — Just not in my house.
— And Ignat? He’s with them, right?
— I suppose so. He made his choice.
— Wow… — sighed the neighbor. — I never thought things would get this bad.
— They’re not bad, Boris. They’re just over.
A week later, exactly seven days, Evelina received a message from Ignat: “Eva, you were right. They really are unbearable. Tamara has already quarreled with Mom, Marinka broke Mom’s favorite vase and was rude to the neighbor. Can I come back home?”
“No,” — she replied briefly.
“But I’m your husband! We have a family!”
“There was a family. Divorce papers are already with the lawyer. I’ll file tomorrow.”
“Eva, don’t be ridiculous! We can talk it out, find a compromise!”
“Three weeks ago, maybe. Now it’s too late.”
“You won’t find a husband like me again!”
“What wonderful news. I definitely won’t find a pushover like you.”
A month and a half later, Boris came over for coffee and shared the latest news.
— Do you know what happened to your former relatives? — he smirked, settling into a chair. — Tamara and her family sued Ignat. Apparently, he had temporarily registered them all at his mother’s place to “show care for the family.” Now he can’t remove them — they’re demanding equivalent housing.
— Seriously? — Evelina was surprised.
— Absolutely! Klavdiya Petrovna now causes a scandal every day, demanding they move out. And they don’t even think about it. Marinka has even moved her boyfriend in; the whole gang lives together in the two-room apartment.
— Karma is a bitch, — Evelina smirked, sipping coffee in her quiet, clean apartment.
— What? — Boris didn’t understand.
— Nothing. Sometimes, justice really does exist.
